{"id":3165,"date":"2022-05-03T17:52:17","date_gmt":"2022-05-03T16:52:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trustedcoachdirectory.com\/?p=3165"},"modified":"2022-05-10T09:46:59","modified_gmt":"2022-05-10T08:46:59","slug":"can-your-vulnerability-as-a-coach-get-in-your-clients-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trustedcoachdirectory.com\/can-your-vulnerability-as-a-coach-get-in-your-clients-way\/","title":{"rendered":"Can your vulnerability as a coach get in your clients way?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dr Brene Brown (2013) writes that \u2018\u2018being\u2019 rather than ‘knowing’ requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen\u2019. <\/em>Brown goes on to say \u2018it requires us to dare greatly, to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable one needs the courage to surface and voice vulnerability\u2019. <\/em>Brown talks about \u2018wholehearted living cultivating vulnerability\u2019. <\/em>She suggests there are many tenets to wholeheartedness \u2018at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness, facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough<\/strong>\u2019. <\/em>These tenants apply in equal quantities to coaches and their clients, yet how do coaches show up without getting in the way of our clients work? Professional coaches always prepare for their coaching session to ensure they are able to be fully present and their authentic self. <\/em>So what does being present and being your authentic self-look like?<\/p>\n

Here the International Coach Federation (ICF) help to give us some insights through the requirements of their coaching competencies. In particular two; coaching presence and establishing trust and intimacy with your client.<\/p>\n

Coaching Presence<\/strong> is described as the ability to be fully conscious and a create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible and confident. The ICF asks that a coach is present and flexible during the coaching process, dancing in the moment. Asks that they access their own intuition and trusts one’s inner knowing and “goes with the gut.” They ask that the coach is open to not knowing and takes risks. \u00a0They ask the coach to be open minded and see many ways to work with the client and chooses in the moment what is most effective. They suggest that the use of humour can help to create lightness and energy. They ask the coach to confidently shift perspectives and experiment with new possibilities both for their way of working and that of their clients. They encourage the coach to be confident working with strong emotions, to self-manage and not be overpowered or enmeshed by client’s emotions.<\/p>\n

There is clearly a lot to coaching presence!<\/p>\n

The ICF competency on Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client;<\/strong> requires a coach to demonstrate the ability to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust. In doing this they ask that the coach shows genuine concern for the client’s welfare and future, that they continuously demonstrate personal integrity, honesty and sincerity,\u00a0they ask that the coach establishes clear agreements and keeps promises.\u00a0 That the coach demonstrates respect for client’s perceptions, learning style, personal being,\u00a0provides ongoing support for and champions new behaviours and actions, including those involving risk taking and fear of failure. And, finally that a coach asks permission to coach their client in sensitive, new areas.<\/p>\n

All eminently sensible I hear you say. But how do these inform our practise and keep us out of the way of our clients?<\/p>\n

In supervision I frequently hear coaches say things like\u2026<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. In my training they said no two coaches are the same, yet, if I am to be a non directive coach how can my client get to know me?<\/li>\n
  2. If my client doesn\u2019t \u2018get me\u2019 how can I coach them properly?<\/li>\n
  3. If my client knows about my background and experience it will help them choose their subjects for coaching<\/li>\n
  4. Surely building strong relationships is what it is all about?<\/li>\n
  5. I know if I told them a bit about my background and experience that would really help\u2026<\/li>\n
  6. I\u2019ve been through that experience and I can feel their pain too\u2026I know just what it feels like\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The questions and thoughts posed above are very real and need handling deftly and with care. It might be useful to reflect on some of them here…<\/p>\n